Struggles

Over the past week I have had to come to terms with events and other things going on in my life. I have come to find that I am more ment to follow at this immediate point in my life rather than lead even if I am against everything that I am being asked to do. What am I being asked to do? It is to step back and let my father die.
I know I am wrong to want to fight this losing battle. But I also know I am justified to fight it. I honestly believe that my dad has more time left than what his doctor has given him. I know he has more life to live.
I know I still have time with him. I also know once he is gone my life will continue. But I am selfish. Disease has taken away one of my dads younger sisters 3 years ago and now it is doing the same thing to my dad. But before them both my grand father and great grandma both lived into their late 90's. So from my calculations I should have another 30 years with my parents. Yet I am now being told I have only another 3 or 4 weeks with my dad. I still have life experiences to share and grandkids for him to meet when they are born. I still have vacations and fishing trips, arguments and hugs that we were suppose to share with eachother. But that it all being painfully cut short.
All this and I am being told to male him as comfortable as possible. Don't fight it anymore. Accept it and prepare to move on. Well to this I have to say NO! This is not how I fight. I am vicious and mean in my fights. I might get beaten one time but I will come back and fight some.more. I Keep going until I get to my goal. Right now my goal is not to keep my dad alive for another 30 years. It is to fight his depression and give him not just something to live for but a way to live it. My dad is still a fighter he has just been beaten down and needs someone to come lift him up. Someone to come push off his attacker. Let him recover from his wounds or if it be die from them.
Cancer is that bully that will continue to beat you down. I want to find a way to fight off that bully. I might be too late for my dad. But is it not worth trying?