Wanting to change

Well there are so many things that I want right now. A Job that has decent pay would be nice. The ability to take a vacation and not feel guilty about leaving work for a week or two. (of course that would come after I get the job) I would also love to lose a little more weight. I seem to have gained back some of the stuff I lost recently.

But Of all these things the thing that I want to change the most is my attitude about my life. I have been letting myself get a little down. As you can see by my last post, I have been feeling a little unwanted for any type of work. I have to personally realize that this is only temporary. I have some great friends and family looking out for me. The give me work to do, they take me out to eat and they send ideas for work my way.

I need to get the motivation to get up every morning and do something besides turn on the TV. I am not normally a couch potato. But I have really picked it up over the past few months. I feel like I have nothing to do. when really I have plenty that I could be doing that would benefit me more than sitting in front of the TV watching some dumb mid morning show. I could be working out or I could be doing school work or I could be working on a hobby. There are so many other things I could do with my current situation.

So starting now I am going to limit my time on the Internet. I am going to post something on my Blog once a week just to keep my mind running if nothing else. I am going to get up early every morning and go work out. I am going to spend time drawing for at least a half hour every day on anything that comes to mind. I am going to do my schoolwork for that day before I turn on the TV. I am going to take the dog on a walk after I work out every morning and then take him on a walk before bed every night. I am going to make sure the pets are groomed every week. And I am going to make sure my wife helps me on everything because I know I will eventually fail if I do not have someone to support me.

These are my gaols. These are my way of saying to life you have not defeated me. This will be my way to take back what I have lost and what was taken from me. This is how I will prove to myself and others that I am willing and ready to work hard and smart. That I am a good person to have around. That I am trustworthy to myself and others and that I am the best person for any job that comes my way.

Not wanted.

So I keep learning the hard way that it is very difficult to get anywhere in this world. As of December of 2009 I have been out of work. I have applied for many jobs, but apparently I am not good enough for any of them.

The only full time job that I have gotten was one trying to sell credit card machines. Honestly I hated that job from day 2. I hated trying to sell a product that I didn't know anything about to someone that had possibly received a call 5 min earlier from someone trying to sell the same thing. I also noticed how dishonest you have to be. One of the salesman was constantly pushing that you should tell people that you are from somewhere else and not the company you say you are with. really. to make money I have to lie, even if it is a little white lie? I think I will stay unemployed thank you. I didn't earn one penny there. Just a headache and a lost ego.

So I have been job hunting since. No one is hiring or they have to many applicants in my chosen job field.

So a good friend of mine sent a job my way. He wanted me there and gave me a great reference and the man I would be working under said he really wanted me there. But the people that never met me said I was not good enough. Even though I am willing to work hard and learn as much as possible. Three things going for me and one thing against and I still lose.

Ugg! I am so tired of job hunting for jobs and getting nothing out of it. Sure they say there are jobs out there. But I can't pay my bills getting paid $8 or $10 an hour. So here I sit. Where a year ago I was making about $21 an hour, to now I am earning $12.5o an hour on unemployment.

Inspiration vs motivation

I have been thinking recently. You can be inspired by many people but they cannot make you a leader that can't make you do anything. They can try to drag you along but it means nothing. So what are our options.

Well if you want to go to the gym every day and get in great shape. You have to do it you have to take the time you are the one that has to get in the car and drive to the gym, or put in the workout video, or just get yourself outside. You can be inspired by your friends going to the gym but that will never make you keep going that will never get you active.

Do not depend on others for your motivation. How many times to we say to ourselves that we will go if "So and so" goes. Or how often do we wait for that phone call by one of our friends to ask us to go do something with them. We are Dependant on them. If you are dependent on someone. Let it go. They will eventually fail you no matter what their good intentions are. But if you take the role as leader you will be the one getting the benefit.

So who is a leader. A leader is one that is inspired by others and then in turn inspires others. They create their own motivation. They are the ones that get up in the morning because it's time to get up. not because they are running late not because someone else forced them out of bed. They got up because they have things they want to do and they have found the motivation they need to keep going.

Things can be rough at times. I have had many times in my life where I have thought of just giving up and not doing anything. But I am willing to get up and continue going. I do not let myself cry over how tired I am. I know that if I go until I am just to tired to go anymore I will feel better the next day. That does not mean that you work work work all the time though. It means that when it is time to get down to business you take care of business before you relax. We are not always perfect in this, but if you keep this frame of mind you will rarely find yourself rushing to meet an imposable deadline.

So let others motivate you and give you good advice. Let others encourage you into doing great things. But find your own motivation. Find your own quest and reason for living. Laying in bed all day or sitting on the couch all day will do nothing for you.

Oh this is such a guilty pleasure for me.

So for a few years now I have watched the channel G4. If I have any show in this station that I just love to watch. It does not matter if it is a re-run or not it is the show. Ninja Warrior.
This show is a Japanese show that is really big here in the states. G4 has done a couple of competition shows here to send one or 2 people over to Japan to compete. This is a show that many stations have tried to mimic here with varied results. The show Wipeout on NBC is one of them. It is fun but not the same.

You get all sorts of competitors in Ninja warrior. You have the silly people that have no chance at getting even past the first stage and then you have the ones that are in such great condition that you are surprised if they don't win the whole thing. Olympic Athletes have competed in this along with many others. Some of the most popular competitors are called the all-stars. They have been competing in this for a long time. One is still competing from the very first episode.

Although the show is not that old it is still a very popular in this country and also so popular in Japan they have a amusement park with a smaller replica that people can try. Some people will train there. Others have build their own personal replicas of some of the obstacles in their backyards.

If you ever find this show on T.V., Give it a try. I am sure you will get a kick out of it like I do.

Mosk in New York?

So the big news on this week. besides immigration and the big oil spill is the Muslim Mosk that is being proposed at or around ground zero. Now I do not have an issue with the Muslim people. I think in general the religion is peaceful. It is the extremists that have caused this country allot of pain. But I do think it is ill advised to even ask to build anything that has to do with the Muslim religion in that area of the city.

Why? If you had someone come into your house and kill your family then themselves would you want their family to move next door? Now you might not have a issue with the family. You might completely trust them. But would it not be a constant reminder to you of what happened? Would you think it in bad taste for them to move into a neighborhood where one of their own did something so bad? I would.

During the Crusades which were a very dark time for the Christen religion. When a building was built on them Muslim land. Especially a Chapel or something to represent the catholic faith. What did the Muslims think about that. What if Americans wanted to build a Catholic chapel right by one of their holy places. What would they say?

So why argue that this is the right thing to do? Why do we have to accept them? Why do we have to prove to them that we are willing to gain their trust. Why do they want to put a building there? Doing this will only garner more distrust of the Muslim religion.

People might say that the Muslim community does not have anything against Americans. But what I saw in every Muslim country after 9-11 says contrary. People were cheering in the streets. I would not doubt that if something of that magnitude happened again you would see more cheering in the streets. Muslims and Muslim Americans are two very different people.

So no I do not support them building anything near that area.

Go Arizona Go!

Now I am not saying that every state should follow the lead of Arizona, But those that are critical of the immigration law of Arizona should read it before they attack it.

First of all I just finished reading it and it clearly states right at the first that this law is to enable the state to more lawfully help the federal government in their job. The law does not add anything new to current federal laws. This law only enables the police in Arizona to more fully support the federal government in their job. In no case are they saying they can randomly pick someone out of a crowd and ask them for proof that they have the right to be here. The Argument that this law will allow for racial profiling are made by people that are crying wolf when none is there.

This law encourages the Arizona law enforcement once they have arrested someone or detained someone for breaking another law, they should ask for proof of the persons resident status. This law goes on to say that it is illegal for a person or company to hire a illegal immigrant. Many paragraphs go on to say what the company is suppose to do and what the court system is suppose to do, from warnings and fines to arrests.

If you want to argue on this you should read the entire bill first. Do not read bits and pieces. If I read bits and pieces of everything I should, I would have killed my friends and family because the Bible told me to. I would get every math problem wrong because I would be skipping a step every time. Do not read this law to prove it wrong. Read it to find it's true intent. Do not listen to the liberals fighting against it or the conservatives fighting for it. Read it and find out for yourself what it is saying.

Every Woman has the Decision to make or break her man

So I was thinking today with all the time I have off. Every woman can make or break her man just by the little things she does or says. She can break him by asking for things he cannot provide. She can act disappointed when he forgets their first (place anything here). Or she can just take what is his and ask in a sweet voice if she can have it.

All these things are harmful to a man. He might really want to buy you those Diamonds, and he really does want to remember those special events but sometimes there are so many and time fly's by so fast and honestly you don't need to celebrate your first date anniversary if your already married. Actually it's not needed to celebrate it at all. If you ask for something and flutter your eyes at a guy he is going to give in and let you have what ever you want. But that does not mean he will be happy about it.

Yes guys do need to learn to say no. But Ladies I say you sometimes just need to not ask.

Day 5 P90X

So I started P90X on Monday this week. I took some pitures and felt like I was going to die on a couple of the days. These days would be when I did Plyometrics and Yoga. If you ever want to feel like your going to die after doing a workout try the Plyometrics and go all out. Yoga on the other hand will make you feel so weak. After 45 min of the standing postures you might as well feel like you could roll over and die. But the benefit of yoga is that it teaches you to relax.

All the other days have been good. I have worked out hard but sometimes just wishing that I could afford a set of free weights instead of having the bands. But I guess that is why I have had a gym membership in the past.

So now this week I have not lost much weight if any. I have weighed myself and have only seen about 1-1/2 pound difference. that could easily be just that I did not eat as much the day before or just that my body is in flux.

Today being Friday was my leg & back day. I have to be a little careful as I have two bad knees and so I have to tone down the moves at first so that I don't cause any damage. Wall Squats I would say are the most difficult, especially the single leg squats. I cant say much about the pull ups as I have always had a difficult time with them. When I did this last year I got up to being able to do 5. That is really good for me. This time around I started off a little better. So I am hoping and have a goal to be able to do 10 by the time I am done with this whole process.

So now for the Bad news. Here are my pictures. You should be ok since this is only a few pictures of me so you won't have to wear protective eye wear.

P90X once again.

So once again I am going to go after my body and beat it up doing P90X. I am going to take all the things I learned from last time and I hope this time around that the benefits will be even greater. The things that hindered me last time were

1. Wedding- I was so busy trying to help with the wedding and then all the family parties and holidays along with that I did not eat as well as I could have
2. Lack or equipment- Last time I did not have Yoga mats, or a heart rate monitor or even a scale. I would have to use someone else's. This time around I have all the equipment that I need.
3. Time- Last time I was doing P90x I was starting work every morning at 7 am so I would get up at 5am every morning. That would not have been so difficult except for the fact that I would have to take my now wife home every night and we would usually stay up pretty late wanting to spend as much time with each other before I had to take her home. Now we can see each other any time we want(which is great) and she is already home. Also now I am currently only employed part time so I can sleep a little bit longer although I do not plan to sleep in too late.
4. Protein drink- Last time I did't get a proper protein drink. and the one I got tasted horrible so I would not always drink it. Now I have a better tasting one that will help me to improve everything much faster.

So I will be taking some pictures soon so that I can compare everything. I will try to post many of my current stats on here to keep anyone out there informed that is interested. I will be starting this upcoming Monday.

Lose one job quit another.

Well I have not posted in a while So I will try to give a quick rundown of the past 2 or 3 months. December was a difficult month. With Christmas keeping everyone busy along with everything else we do it was hard to keep up. But about4 days before Christmas day I got notice that I was being let go and to be out by noon. They had no more work for me. My supervisor and other boss called me in after I got the news and apologized for everything. Letting me know he had fought to keep me. I do not blame him for anything. But that took all the wind out of my sales just before Christmas. I was expecting if nothing else maybe a bonus check for all the hard work I had done from September to December. But instead I got a severance check.

So now it has been a little over 2 months since I was laid off. I have found that getting an unemployment check is very difficult to get from the state. First off they don't take into account what I was really earning. So I have took about a $1000 per month pay cut. Then I took a part time job and so they stopped payment on my unemployment right away. That job I was not earning anything and not enjoying it at all. I could not even justify the gas I was spending to get to work. So I quit that job so that I could look for something better. Of course if you quit a job they will put your unemployment back on hold until they decide if they are still going to pay you or not. Paperwork paperwork paperwork. Make our government run slow and yet they still make mistakes. So now I am working part time for my wifes parents helping will collections and some billing. Mostly the folding of paperwork on the billing. But I will say a much more satisfying job compared to the other one.

Now I am still looking for full time work. I am taking online courses to try and get a bachelors degree in art, something I have been thinking of doing for a long time. Sad that it took me loosing my job before I fully took advantage of it. Then I sit at home most of the day trying to save money and take advantage of everything I can. Hopefully sometime soon I will be doing allot of doggy sitting so that I can help pay the bills. I figure if I take a few part time jobs along with the doggy sitting I might be able to bring in a pretty decent salary.

So I guess that would be the basics for everything. I am sure not many people read this so any secrets that I may have divulged should be safe.